Perhaps I am becoming an Ent...

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This entry was posted at
05:12 GMT on 29 May 2004

(Note: none of what follows had anything to do with my recent server and hosting troubles.)

I got up one morning toward the end of May, earlier than usual—changes in the weather tend to foul up my sleep patterns—had two or three cups of coffee, and proceeded to my morning shower. Water on, wait for heat. Step in, scrub down. Wash hair. Rinse. Wash van Dyke. Rinse. Wash arms, pits, torso, nether regions, rinse. Right leg. Right foot, with special attention to the Foul-Smelling Toes of Doom. Rinse. Left leg. Left foot, with special attention to the Foul-Smelling Toes of Doom. Ri—

Um, why is my heel green?

Hmm.

Rinse.

Water off, towel off. Step out, put on boxers. Yank left foot up into the light.

Yep. Green. Right where a former blister is well on its way to becoming a callus. (New shoes, you know). Touch gingerly. No pain. Touch firmly. No pain.

Jab. No pain.

Note that it is a juicy green, which is to say that the blister–juice seems to have spoiled, but the live skin under seems fine.

Hmm.

Off to the bedroom. Swiss army knife? Check. Adequate tissues? Check. Disinfectant (in the form of Purell brought over from the States)? Check. Nauseous feeling that usually accompanies self–surgery? Pleasingly absent.

Snip a hole in the dead skin. Surround hole with tissue. Squeeze. That which issues forth is the exact color and consistency of tree sap. Translucent green. Very sticky.

This stuff came out of me?

Once the site has been thoroughly squeezed, cut away the dead skin covering it. Sticky green residue remains underneath.

Have I mentioned lately how incredibly squeamish I am? I've been known to get sick just thinking about gory movies. Anyway.

Dispose of dead skin. Mop site with a tissue or two. Slather on the Purell. No stinging, good sign. Wipe away, examine skin underneath. Pink. Healthy. No pain. A few white patches of callus or dead skin. No green. Slather and wipe again, because I'm paranoid.

Disaster averted.

Several days on, everything seems fine. If anything further happens, I shall consult a doctor, but for the moment I don't see the need.

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