Category Archives: Spook-A-Thon 2004

The Undertaker & His Pals, 1966

What a vile piece of filth.
There’s really not much more to say than that. I make a habit of trying to find the good in even really bad movies, but this film is nauseating.
The script is pathetic even in its humor. Characters have names like Mort the Undertaker and Charlie the Stoolie (no [...]

Darn it

Two days ago, a cold strutted up to me and challenged me to an arm wrestling match. I declined politely and turned away, but it grabbed my shoulder, spun me around, and said “You’re funny, boy, actin’ like you got a choice.”
It ended in a draw, more or less, but left me rather tired.
Yesterday [...]

A Chinese Ghost Story II, 1990

(subtitle: Return of the Taoist Rap!)
You might think that this would be “more of the same.” Same director. Same producer. Same principle cast, excepting the villain and two additions. And, largely, the same design sense and art direction.
But no. Not the same. In fact, very different.
Leslie Cheung is back [...]

A Chinese Ghost Story, 1987

Shame on me for never seeing this before.
Esthetically, this has everything I have always loved about Hong Kong films, and in fact it epitomizes the style of what I term the golden age of HK film. The cinematography is energetic and extreme, the special effects are a bit creaky, but usually covered up by [...]

Phone Booth, 2003

Ahhhh, finally a good movie.
When it came out, of course, the critics said it sounded like a misfire, but managed to be quite good. Right on both counts.
The premise of the script by Larry Cohen (of Maniac Cop infamy) is tight. Last phone booth in one section of New York. A too–slick [...]

Batman Begins by David Goyer

“You are in Hell, little man. And I am the devil.”
“You’re not the devil… you’re practice.”
Being a Batman fan from around the time of Frank Miller’s one–two punch of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One, I tell you this: I am worried.
Warner Brothers is setting up a revival of [...]

Die, Monster, Die!, 1965

“Actually it’s German. It means ‘The, Monster, The!’”
Darn it, I thought this would be a respite from badness.
American International Pictures’s string of Edgar Allen Poe and H.P. Lovecraft adaptations from the early 1960s are old favorites of mine (especially House of Usher and The Raven, though I’m also keen on The Pit and the [...]

Jeepers Creepers 2, 2003

Have no illusions: this movie is crap.
I don’t want any emails telling me “I rented this because of what you wrote, but I hated it,” so I’m warning you now.
This movie is crap.
A sequel done by the same writer and director as the original (reviewed here last June), Jeepers Creepers 2 manages [...]

Resident Evil: Apocalypse, 2004

Good gravy, this got released to theaters?
And it made more money than its predecessor!?
My review of the first Resident Evil called it an awful movie, poorly done, which I nevertheless enjoyed. Resident Evil: Apocalypse is a frankly atrocious film, yet still I derived some minimal pleasure from it.
Everything I said about the first goes [...]

John Carpenter’s The Thing, 1982

John Carpenter is an intriguing filmmaker, and a fairly interesting man as well. He has made at least one undisputed and widely influential classic, Halloween, several excellent films, and more than a few stinkers.
The Thing turns out to be one of his sharpest films. It’s his first big studio production, and quite slick. [...]

Resident Evil, 2002

One of the problems with turning video games into movies is character. A video game may certainly tell an interesting, engaging story, but the medium is different than film, so it should be no surprise that the storytelling requirements are different as well.
In a movie, your main character should leave a strong impression, be [...]

Spook–A–Thon 2004!

We’re more than a week into October now, or as Martini Boy calls it, “the most wonderful time of the year.” As with last year, I’ll be embarking on a string of reviews in honor of the season.
The name change reflects a broader selection of genres. Last year was the Scare–A–Thon, focusing mostly [...]